Of Tortoises and Gazelles

So let me start off by introducing myself. I’m Yuri, Michelle’s lucky husband. In a nutshell, I love to cook, watch sports, read useless internet articles, and like my lovely wife, I adore eating.  As people who have met me recently have pointed out, the short description I have provided is becoming evident through my ever expanding waistline. See, the only reason for me to sweat before was due to the heat of the burner while I cook or the Ravens being down by a touchdown to the Broncos with 34 seconds left in regulation.

I’ve realized though that maybe it’s time for me to try to get in shape. I’ve been trying to run at least every other day in UP. The first attempt, I was able to accomplish a total of an astoundingly sad 1KM before calling it quits. Running can’t be that hard! The burning lungs, the sore feet, and most of all, the whiff of oil emanating from those fishball stands kept calling me to the sidelines. Being the geek that I am, I decided to go back home, and read countless articles on how to run. I thought it was as simple as putting one foot in front of the other and then collapsing in a heap of blubber at the end point. Apparently, it’s not. Here’s what I’ve gathered through my research:

1) Stretch, stretch, stretch. Pulling a muscle HURTS. It’s easier to just spend a couple of minutes warming up those tight hamstrings by the sidewalk than trying to hobble back to your vehicle while clutching your aching legs.

2) Relax and realize that it’s not a race (unless it actually is one haha) I’m a guy with short, stubby legs. Time and again, I get reminded of that whenever Michelle is in a hurry to get anywhere. Her 1 step is 2 of mine (although sometimes it feels like 10). I used to get bothered every time somebody would pass me by and appear as if they’re not having a difficult time. Once these gazelles would stream past by me I’d mutter something non-sequitur under my breath like “You may have long legs and run fast but at least I could cook up a mean Phad Kha Pao”. After the first hundred people passed me by, I just said to myself that I’m enjoying the run anyway. So let them pass by me while I go at my own pace. I just let my mind wander and enjoy the scenery.

3) Try to keep a steady rhythm. Both in breathing and in cadence, it works wonders.  I kept remembering those ROTC days where my CO would keep shouting “Left, Left,Left, Right Left”. Just keeping that steady pace helped me cover longer distances than I thought I could.

4) Look ahead. It’s good for your running posture. Your spine and hips will fall in place if you keep a steady gaze of like 10 feet in front of you. As I’ve said time and again, I have short legs so I’m slow.  People who didn’t follow this tip have bulldozed into me before. To avoid this embarrassing situation for both you and me, just look ahead. :)

5) Move your arms. It helps propel you forward and it also prevents your body from twisting too much. Keep your elbows at a 90 degree angle and swing your arms back and forward opposite your leg. Don’t clench your hands. Pretend that you’re holding an egg while you run. Also, make sure that your hands don’t cross the midline of your torso or you’ll create a twisting motion.

6) Cool down. Make sure that your muscles and breathing are back to normal by doing a bit of stretching afterwards.

7) Finally, the most important tip for me:  Don’t pig out afterwards! Avoid the fishball stand like the plague and try to eat sensible portions. It feels good to eat after a run. There’s a certain sense of entitlement every time I sit down at the table and see all that good food. I think to myself, I earned it! I deserve to eat more since I exercised! Sad to say it doesn’t work that way, If you’re serious about losing those love handles, exercise and dieting go hand in hand.

It’s been a little more than a month since I started this journey towards uncharted territory called “exercise” and I’m surprised by the result. I’ve lost a total of 6 kilos and from that paltry 1km, I’m now up to 8km per run. I’m still a long way from finishing that marathon but I’m happy to see results. I’ll never get long legs, and keep pace with the gazelles but maybe after a couple hundred more kilometers of running I could at least say, “you may be fast, but at least I can cover longer distances”. At least I would then have a valid argument. :)

- Yuri